Rainy Long Day

The last few days we have had more rain than we really need and as much as I love a good storm, I really wish the rain would just let up a bit. But after looking at the forecast, we are supposed to keep getting the rain through Wednesday this week.

So now it's flooding. The following 2 pictures were taken around the corner from my house. As you can see it's flooding like crazy. Thankfully, I live on a rather nice hill so everything flows away from me. But by neighbors, well I have a feeling all of their basements will be nice and wet.

Current Radar as of 5:45pm

Here are some pictures I took from the Funeral Home as the storm was coming in...

Now speaking of the visitation... This was probably the saddest visitation I have ever been too. Yes I cried. I cried alot. Phil was such a nice guy. Always looked out for everyone. And I was doing good on the no crying thing until his wife grabbed me and hugged me. She just wouldn't let go and cried her eyes out while telling me, "Please just make sure you are happy in your life because that is all that matters. It can be over before you know it." That is when my tears started.

The amount of people there was completely unreal. At last count of the guestbook before I left there were over 500 people that had shown. And that is with people still lined up out the door waiting to get in. Hell I even ran into 2 people I knew from high school so that ought to tell you exactly how well liked this man was.

As many of you know, my sister is marrying into a rather large Italian family so it really was no surprise so many people came to the wake. But what I wasn't prepared for was how much this resembled something out of a Soprano's episode. Women crying uncontrollably and the men huddled up in another room chain smoking and talking in whispers. Made me wonder exactly what the men were talking about.... hmmmmmm???

All in all, today was just a very long and emotionally draining day. Thankfully, it's almost over...

Runaway

Lately, I have had the over- whelming desire to just Runaway. To pick up and leave and never come back. Just grab only what I need to get by and take off some place where I would feel nothing but peace and tranquility but most of all, feel completely safe and happy. Just think of all of the places I could run. There are so many! But if I were forced to choose at this very moment, I would choose the seclusion and solitude of the mountains and lock myself away in a quaint little cabin.

I hate feeling like this but I cannot deny that is exactly how I feel lately.

Life has a way of throwing things at us and sometimes they are just hard to take. Trust me, I do realize that I am not the only person in the world who feels like I do but that really doesn't make it any easier.


Those of you who know me better than anyone else, know I have been under a tremendous amount of stress lately. I would like to say thanks for being there for me because I have really needed you to listen now more than ever.

However, that still does not negate this urge to pick up and run. But you know that I just don't have it in me to up and run. Usually, I would have just taken whatever was being thrown my way and stuffed it way deep inside. So deep that no one would really ever know that I was even having any sort of problems. But lately that is different.


I have said it before and I will say it again. Self realization, as good as it is, can also be a complete bitch. It basically forces you to sit back and critique yourself and I don't know about the rest of you, but for me, actually sitting back and looking at my life, evaluating all of the choices I have made is the hardest thing I have ever truly had to do.

So you may be wondering what major discovery I have made about myself. Well, for starters, I have learned I have always been one who never looked out for myself because I was always too busy trying to please everyone else. Any why I never really noticed this before is rather simple. It's truly easier to hide behind a mask and pretend. So rather than stick up for myself and deal with things head on, I always took a back seat and just let things happen while I kept that fake smile across my face so no one knew what was really going on inside of me.


But no matter how good it sounds to pick up and run right now and just not deal with any of this, I know that is just not reality. Picking up and leaving only hurts everyone involved and that is something I truly cannot do and will not do. So I will sit back and deal with this situation day by day taking each punch in stride because its the right thing to do.

And once all is said and done, one day I can just up and move to that cabin in the mountains and do it knowing I have dealt with everything I needed to before hand. I will be able to go there armed with the knowledge that I am there for the right reasons and not because I up and sought refuge from the problems at hand.

So no worries everyone, I am doing the right thing for me and everyone around me.

Beware and Other Stuff

Well, regardless of feeling like complete shit and having a horrid day yesterday, I did go to my son's pizza party last night and I have so many different words I can use to describe this soiree...

Deafening

Chaotic

Interesting

Insane

Out of Control

Unruly

Disgusting

Rude

Testosterone Filled

One Big Pissing Contest

"Get Me Away From These Kids NOW!!!"

I realize a lot of those words are not the most happy but that hour and a half I was locked in that room with all of those kids made my fucking head spin. Okay, I will admit since I wasn't feeling especially good that this stuff probably got to me a little more than it should but it still was quite the zoo/circus mixture. It was like they turned a bunch of wild animals loose in a restaurant and let them do whatever they wanted. I just think we should have been allowed to use tranquilizer darts because it would have come in quite handy!

I saw everything from food flying around to spit wads being blown through straws. Oh Wait...There was even some actual spitting going on....Fuck I hate spitting.

Now on this team they have a female quarterback. Granted she is their 2nd string quarterback, none-the-less, she is still a quarterback and a pretty good one too. I have watched her the last couple of years and I think she does a really good job. Well I felt bad for her last night as some of the boys on the team were calling her a lesbian and shit like that. It got so bad she ended up putting one kid in a headlock. Damn! I loved it! Mouthy little shit deserved it. It was nice to see she could hold her own but I hate the fact she has to do those things.

So I was pretty much a little taken back by the way everything went at this party. I helped coach soccer and baseball teams for years and our kids NEVER did anything like this at our parties. It just shocked me that the coaches didn't step in and stop any of it. They just kinda watched as if they were watching some bad musical play out upon a TV screen. Anytime my son started getting in the mix of things last night, I stepped in a said something. Hell it finally got so bad he asked me if I wanted to leave. Well, enough said because we left right then and there. So if my unruly heathen wanted to leave then you know it was bad!!! :)

One thing I forgot to mention in my post yesterday was the upcoming funeral I will be going to. Here is the obituary:

Phillip M. Arnone, 56, Kansas City, MO, a loving husband, father and grandfather, went home to be with the Lord on Thursday, August 24, 2006. Funeral services will be 11 a.m. Monday, August 28 at Trinity Christian Center, 5005 N. Brighton, Kansas City, MO 64119; entombment in White Chapel Memorial Gardens Mausoleum. Visitation will be 3-8 p.m. Sunday at Passantino Bros. Funeral Home, 2117 Independence Blvd., Kansas City, MO 64124. Visitation will also be 10-11 a.m. Monday at Trinity Christian Church prior to the service. The family requests no flowers. Phillip was born January 8, 1950 in Kansas City, MO. He co-owned Arnone's Bar in 1976. He owned and operated Arnone's Stadium Auto Sales and Service for 20 years. He had previously owned Chubby's on Independence Ave., and was currently co-owner of Arnone and Gambino's Hot Spot Cafe'. He was a veteran of the U.S. Air Force Reserve. Phillip was preceded in death by his parents, Phil and Theresa Arnone. Survivors include his wife of 35 years, Linda Arnone, of the home; daughters and sons-in-law, Michelle and Anthony Inzenga, Theresa and Larry Mael; son and future daughter-in-law, Phillip and Teresa Arnone; four grandchildren, Jacob Michael Majors, Madelyn Rose Mael, Joseph Phillip Inzenga, Phillip Joseph Arnone Jr.; sister and brother-in-law, Tommie and Carl Cannova; brothers and sister-in-law, Paul Arnone, Victor Arnone, Steve and Rita Arnone; motherin-law, Goldie Scott; father-in-law, Ted Scott; step-father-in-law, Max Smith and wife Linda; sisters-in-law and brothersin-law, Sandi and Chuck Haubein, Debi Gambino, Stephen and Robin Scott; aunts, Mary Jo Arnone, Deidora Wiehoff; and many nieces, nephews and godchildren. Pallbearers: Sal Cannova, Johnny Joe Gulotta, Paul Whittington, Mark Hylton, Jason Majors, George Gambino, Tim Reek, Charlie Haubein, Victor Joe Arnone Jr., Stephen Arnone, Pete Haubein, Phillip Cannova, Leonard Pittala, Dwayne Garton, Rick Hanchette. (Arr: Passantino Bros. Funeral Home, 816471-2844).

NV... I posted this for you since I haven't talked to you since our dinner the other night. My little sister's soon to be father in law died of a heart attack the other night and now the family is pretty much spiraling out of control. I guess he woke up around 4 in the morning saying he couldn't breathe. He ended up having a massive heart attack and dying in his son's arms (My little sister's fiance').

It's all very sad because his wife was so sheltered that she doesn't know anything about money or insurance or anything. She doesn't know if they owe money on the house or even what bills they actually have. How sad is that?? I just couldn't imagine not knowing any of this stuff.

So anyway, if I disappear for a couple of days its due to the various visitations and the funeral. Plus the going over to their house and helping out with the baby. But I will be back to posting before long. Life has been so crazy lately that this posting is one of a couple of things that helps keep me sane!!!

**SIGH** A Day I Didn't Plan

At the beginning of the week, I thought I would take today off. I knew I had some things I needed to take care of before the end of the month and why not give myself a 3 day weekend in the process right?

Actually, I couldn't have picked a better day to take off because things just are not going as I had planned them out. Why the fuck do I even make plans because half of the time, it never works out the way I want them too anyway.

I had all of these things I needed to do and I have ended up only doing one of them and that is renewing the license plates on my car. I don't know about any of you, but I find the DMV to be one of the worst places in the world. Not only do you have to wait for what seems like an eternity, but I swear to GOD, the only hire people who barely speak any english. Today was no different. I waited in line for 45 minutes to be greeted by someone who really didn't seem to know shit about what she was doing. She only asked me 3 times for my property tax form. Exactly how many times do I need to put the same piece of paper in her face before she realizes exactly what it is??? Apparently, the answer to that question is SEVERAL.

The one exciting highlight of the DMV was watching 3 girls get into an arguement over who was next in line. The amount of finger flying, pointing and screaming was actually quite entertaining. And to think I always thought the DMV was so boring all of these years :)

I had planned on doing a ton of other things today but that just isn't working out. For whatever reason, I woke up at 3:00 am this morning sicker than hell. I went to bed fine but woke up with the worst headache in the world. Well that turned into nausea and vomiting uncontrollably for a good 6 hours. Damn! I still feel like complete shit but I am surviving. Its a good thing I did take today off in advance because I would have called in sick if I didn't. Now I blame my sickness on Blu.... Yes, Blu, I blame you Hunny Bunny! I think you sent me diseases through the phone line!!! Next time you can keep that shit to yourself :) **snicker**

I know, I know... Boring ass post!! But I was bored and just felt like rambling a little bit about absolutely nothing. Now I am seriously thinking of going back to bed. Tonight I have to take my son to a dinner with his football team at a pizza place. At this particular moment, the idea of smelling pizza is not good... So cross your fingers for me that I don't get sick in front of all of those kids...

A Sick Mind

I am usually not one to make any rash decisions about someone's guilt or innocence until all of facts are heard. Sometimes things just seem a little too obvious and it really gets me.

I was reading a story on John Mark Karr, the guy accused of killing JonBenet Ramsey, and have really come to believe there is a huge and I mean huge, possibility this man did not commit this crime.

So the news story is discussing his demeanor on the plane during his flight back to the States and what I read really got me thinking that this guy seriously is sick in the head. I believe, if what I have read is true, he is just obsessed with her and merely wants to be tied to her somehow. To him the consequences just don't matter more than the need and desire to be known for being her conqueror.

As he was boarding the plane and during the flight he was laughing and joking with the people around him. If you did something like this you would NOT act in that manner, well, unless you were not in your right mind.

And it must be nice to be able to sit and enjoy a nice dinner complete with alcohol and dessert while watching a movie during your flight, all without being handcuffed. Okay, I had to post a part of the story from the article so you could see exactly what I mean:

"Dinner on board, served on a starched white tablecloth with silverware, was one many passengers would envy. Karr started with a pate, then had a green salad with walnut dressing. The main course was fried king prawn with steamed rice and broccoli, followed by a slice of Valrhona chocolate cake for desert. Karr drank a beer, crushing the can with his hands when it was empty, then moved on to a glass of French chardonnay with his main course."

Now one thing I did not mention is during the rest of the flight he sipped champagne.

Does anyone else see anything wrong with this picture? I suppose it would be one thing if he hadn't admitted to the crime, but he did, or so he says. Now please remember I am not saying he committed this crime, but if he confesses then as far as I am concerned he is guilty until proven innocent.

The bottom line is if he didn't do it he still needs to be punished for simply hurting people by giving them false hope of closure. So why reward this sort of thing by treating someone as if they were someone important rather than treating them exactly as they are..... a completely loathsome individual.

Either way, someone is being hurt here. If he did it as he says he did, its a stab in the back to the family for a confessed killer to be treated like a celebrity. If he didn't do it, its still a stab in the back to the family for giving the false prospect of putting together the final chapter of a bad part of their lives.

So what have we learned here, whether he is guilty or innocent, John Mark Karr = Loathsome Piece of Shit.

Okay, I just had to get that off my chest. It was just bothering the hell outta me. I have heard MANY other people think he is just some nut case looking for a twisted type of notoriety but until I read the article, I really didn't have much of an opinion on guilt or innocence.

Happy Birthday Blu....

Blu, I ran across this picture and it just screamed you for whatever reason. And how appropriate that the picture is actually entitled "Happy Birthday!". Soooo....

Happy Birthday Blu!

I hope your day is a great one!

Am I really 36??? Yikes!!!

So here it is, roughly 7:30 in the morning and I cannot sleep to save my life. And today was the day I planned on sleeping in. I really hate it when your internal clock prohibits that sort of thing. I have a feeling its all because every other day of the week I get up at the ass crack of dawn for work and my body, for whatever reason, feels the need to make sure I am up and moving way too early on the weekends.

But today I should have gotten to sleep Damn it!!! Hell, I turned 36 today! WTF??? If aging another year isn't enough to deserve sleeping in for then I don't know what the hell is!

Does anyone know if the human body has a built in Snooze Button cuz if it's there I would really like to know??!!! Okay if no snooze button, how about a switch just to turn the whole damn thing off??? **sigh**

So today my sister asked me to come down to her restaurant and have breakfast with her. I am looking forward to that because I just don't get to see her enough. We use to hang out all of the time but as years went by we kinda stopped and that makes me a little sad. And now she is planning this huge wedding and has a new baby so she is always busy. But after talking to her last night, we both promised to change that.

Forgive me if I seem a little sentimental today. Lately, I think I have faced more self discovery in my life than I ever have before and today I am really feeling it. Don't know if its because of the birthday or what but I am feeling it none the less.

After breakfast, my son's football team has a scrimage. I am excited about watching that. I love watching him play. My little linebacker! Watching him play something he really and truly loves makes me feel so good inside...

This afternoon, I think I am going to crawl back into bed for awhile and do nothing. It will be nice to do absolutely nothing. As for the rest of the night, I will probably end up online harassing the shit outta Blu because he tolerates me so well, not to mention that he takes my abuse like a champ! **snicker** Thanks Blu! :)

Oh, I forgot to mention that my son was so super sweet last night. Got me a copy of Scary Movie 4. We sat and watched it laughing ourselves silly! I love that boy so much! He was so cute. "Okay mom, sit down and I will get you something to drink." He brought me a huge glass of apple juice. How I ended up giving birth to someone so sweet, I will never know....

Have a great day everyone....

Fake People

One thing I really hate in the world is fake people. Okay granted, from time to time we are all fake in little ways. But the ones I am referring to are the people who are fake all of the time. The ones who are nice to your face and then the minute you walk away, stab you in the fucking back.

Well today I had one of those experiences and it pretty much pissed me off. I work with a girl in the office, who I shall refer to in this post as "bitch". Everyday, I pretty much spend my time going from the office and 2 different retail stores to work. When I got to the office today, the bitch was super nice to my face. She asked me how I was and how my sister was (because my nephew had surgery today). Then she proceeded to ask me why I came into the office. I told her I wasn't staying long but I was dropping off some stuff before heading to my next damn destination.

While I was at my desk, the bitch had gone to lunch and apparently she did not see that I was still in the office when she returned and asked the girl who sits next to me (when I happen to be there) "So where did the worthless one go? As far as I am concerned she didn't leave fucking early enough!"

So what did I do? I pushed my chair back, looked at the bitch and said, "What did you say?" The look on her face was one of "HOLY FUCK! WHAT DO I DO NOW??"

She had no answer. Now the thing that really infuriates me about this whole situation is not that she really doesn't like me because I could truly give 2 shits whether anyone likes me or not, but what she said. Worthless one??? That was line crossin' if you ask me.

Basically, it turned into this damn fight in the middle of the office, which really isn't any big deal because where I work someone is always screaming and swearing obsenities. By the time it was over she was crying and I was storming out. I just have no time in my life for this kind of shit especially when every single time I come in, its "Would you please do this for me or that for me" because I am the only one in the office with any knowledge as to how to do anything in Microsoft Office.

Well the next time she needs something she can cram it right up her righteous ass so far that she chokes. Bitch.....

Damn I feel better. I have to say, I was slightly embarassed that I let her get to me like that but at the time, I didn't really care. It was rather funny watching the Pres and the VP come out of their offices just to watch the show. They didn't say a word probably because they know exactly how hard I bust my ass and how much time I put in a week. As for the bitch, not even 40 hours. That's probably why she didn't get a raise and I did...

Okay I am done ranting like the crazy bitch I work with.... However...It was nice to vent!

Medicine, The True Evil in the World

My son was not feeling well yesterday. And you can always tell how he feels by how he acts because I have one wild child and when he isn't feeling good, he kinda lays around and does nothing. He just has too much energy to fake being sick. Well before he went to bed last night I told him I needed to load him up with some meds......

Me: "You need to come down here and take some medicine..."

Son: "I don't need any medicine, I will be fine."

Me: "No, you are going to take the medicine. You missed football practice and you don't sound very good so you need it."

***insert stomping feet and deep bitchy sighs***

Son: "Okay fine but I am not taking it until I get something to drink to go with it!"

Me: "Whatever you need but you are going to take it."

***20 minutes later and he is wandering around the kitchen aimlessly.....stalling.....playing a game I like to call "Avoidance"***

Me: "I am not kidding, get in here and take this stuff!"

Son: "Mom, I just got my drink okay? Goddddddddddddddd!!!"

***Now I am standing with one of those little cup fulls of liquid childrens Tylenol Allergy. Holding it out waiting for him to take it. I am getting the evil death glare as I hand him the med's***

Son: "I don't know why you make me take this stuff."

Me: ................................

***Insert contorted facial expressions and shivers as he gulps the stuff down***

Son: "I hate the taste of that stuff and I am going to taste it all night long!"

Me: "I know it tastes bad but you really need it."

Son: "No Mom! You are wrong! It tastes Horrible! Can't you get that right?!!"

***Begins to stomp off towards the bedroom in disgust but suddenly stops and turns around***

Son: "I love you mom! Goodnight!"

***Insert hug and kiss from a way too cool 12 year old***

Damn, I love kids! Almost makes me want more of them! :)

Do I Smell the Remnants of Burning Crow???

I am pretty sure by now all of you have noticed I am not one for necessarily mencing words. I do tend to run my mouth and I will admit, sometimes, my own foot gets inserted deep! Do I ever really learn my lesson? No.... Well I ever learn this lesson? No.... It's just not going to happen. It's something I have come to know and just accept about myself.

Somewhere around 10:30 or so last night I began to smell something very rancid around my house. I searched high and low to locate exactly what this was and when I found it, I was sickened! What I was smelling was the foul stench of Crow! Not just Crow, but burning Crow! And who was it that served up this tasty creature for me??? Well this lovely feast was served up courtesy of the Kansas City Chiefs via their loss to the Houston Texans!!!

***SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH***

You see earlier this week, I was running my mouth to Blu, about how the Chiefs were just gonna stomp those sorry ass Texans into the ground!!! **Open Mouth and Insert Foot**

So then I happen to look at my phone late last night and who did I have a message from??? I bet none of you can guess in a million years.... BLU!!! And what was he doing?? He was singing me a song about this little loss of the Chiefs!!!

Yes Blu! You were right and I was wrong! But I still don't think it was very nice of you to have this dirty ass bird sent to my house! Yes I will eat my Crow but I refuse to enjoy it by any means. Foul Fucking Bird!!!

But I still like my take on the win better than what they actually were showing on my TV screen. You see, there is a reason the Chiefs lost last night and it sure wasn't because of the Texans being an overly good team so don't go feelin all high and mighty just yet there Blu! The bottom line is I was sick last night. Very Very Very ILL!!! And since I wasn't my normal self, you know the crazy lady screaming at the tv and throwing things, the Chiefs just didn't feel my energy! How can they win if I am just not with it?? That's right.. They Can't! So To the Chiefs, I apologize and will not allow it to happen again!

But you see there was also something else in play here and that would be called A Sympathy Win. Those poor sorry ass Texans only won 2 games last year! And should I mention that poor ole David Carr was only sacked 68 times during the last season??? How in the hell do you get sacked 68 times??? That's called having no Offensive Line... When the Chiefs played them last year we only kicked their asses 45 to 17!!! So we pretty much felt, WTF??!!! Why not let them win during Preseason when it really makes no difference. Besides when you have your 3rd stringers in against their 2nd stringers, well that says it all right there! **snicker**

So enjoy this little Victory Blu! I hope you did a dance while you were singing that song because it's gonna be the last time this is gonna happen....

Creeped Out....

Okay, please tell me that I am not the only one creeped out by this statue. Why in the world would anyone create this??? Who really wants to see an old Hillary Clinton's bust??? I saw this and couldn't quit looking. It was like a bad car accident and I had my head out the window, driving by slowly watching....about to cause another accident because I about became ill....

The only thing I want to know is did she actually pose for this piece of creative mess??? I mean look at the face with the wrinkles...and the hair.... I think I would shoot myself if it were me...

That's it! I am going back to watching the Colts and Rams game before I go blind...

SCARY.....

A Seinfeld Episode

Every morning before work I wake up and hop in the shower, it's just part of my routine before heading out the door.

Well this morning was no different than any other. I got up and headed to the shower but something was amiss.... I turned on the water and it was soaring out of the shower head at warp speed. I have never seen anything like it.

The only way I can come up with to properly describe this situation would be to compare it to the Seinfeld episode when Kramer bought the shower head made for elephants because all of the shower heads in the building were being replaced with low flow ones. You know how Kramer could barely stand up when the water was blasting down on him??? That is exactly how I felt this morning! Basically I was getting my ass kicked by the streams of water jetting from the shower head. And let me tell you, it wasn't fun!

Trying to get the fucking shampoo out of my hair while this was happening was in no way fun nor easy. And let's not even mention what it felt like when it pummelled the side of my face! I am surprised I actually have no black eyes...

So I live with a plumber.... and when I asked him why this happened I got told, "Well that's because no one else in the neighborhood was showering at the same time so you got great water pressure." Okay, I know NOTHING about plumbing at all and won't even pretend that I do but to me, this sounds like a complete crock of shit!!! If this is the case then why when I occasionally shower at 3:00 in the morning do I not have the water pressure from hell??? Are my neighbors all up showering at 3:00am with me??? Should I invite them all over for a huge shower party??? Should I tell them that my favorite body wash is Bath and Body works Sun Rippened Raspberry and to bring some when they show up??? Yeah I am thinking its a plan! I will send out the invites next week! That way we can all just use one shower and share in the beating that will commence with the newly found water pressure! WTF????

Yep! What a morning! Nothing like getting your ass kicked when you are merely trying to be clean!

Kramer with Bath Hair from a Low Flow Shower Head...

The New Aquarium

About 2 months ago I had mentioned that my Salt Water tank was basically poisoning everything in it due to the acrylic being toxic from the fire at my house in March. Well, thankfully, my insurance company went ahead and replaced everything but....I had forgotten just how long it takes to set one of these things up from scratch. So for the past month and a half I have been slowly building up this tank and its finally starting to take shape.

The tank I had before was only a 46 gallon. This new one is 75 and I am in love with it! It's not just a tank but a huge piece of furniture. I got a heck of a deal on it because I have some hook-ups **giggles** I love getting hooked up!

Instead of putting crushed coral for the bottom like I did with the other tank, I decided to go with tons of minature sea shells and it really gives it a nice look. I haven't added too much to it yet because if I do, everything will slowly start dying off. So 3 weeks ago, I finally added 2 bright blue damsels. The pics below show them as green in color but they are actually a very vibrant electric blue. They tend to spend most of their time hiding in the live rock I have in the tank.

Today I added a Dog-Faced Puffer Fish. Damn what a pricy little bastard! But I have to admit, he is one awesome fish. His teeth remind me of some rabid dog. Cracks me up when he bears them!

So here are some pics of my new setup... Damn I love it! (Excuse the flash from the camera.. I got a little over zealous and then was too lazy to retake the pics!)